Believe It or not, Your Parents Can Be Your Friends

Mother, father, brothers and sisters – they can get on your nerves, just as you can get on theirs. Have you ever felt that you don’t want your father to pick you up from a party because you think your friends might laugh at him?

And what about you? Have you ever asked your parents personal questions in public? The members of a family can embarrass each other, even without meaning to. But if you’re sensitive to each other’s feelings you’ll be able to avoid upsetting each other too badly.

Understanding a parent is a two-way process. If your parents are open and reasonable with you, you owe it to them to be open and reasonable with them. That means telling them where you’re going; who you’re going with and when you’ll be back.

Believe it or not, your parents can be your best friends and they’ll be pleased that you’re growing up.

However, as you grow up, relationships within your family will change. The adults will continue to love and look after you, but the relationship will become much more one between equals.

The difference between your philosophy and way of life and your parents’ is often referred to as the generation gap. You may think your parents are really old. But try to think about them as ordinary people. They have good days and bad days, too.

Sometimes parents are under all sorts of pressures. They may worry about money, or if they're a single parent, they may be lonely. Or they may be worried about getting old themselves. Your parents also have to deal with a world that is changing faster than it did when they were young.

What’s the best action to take if you want to do something that you think a parent will disapprove of? First, work out why you think they’ll disapprove. If you can present a carefully worked out argument, you’re doing well. Talk things over with friends or brothers and sisters. Has anyone been in a similar situation? If you treat your parents in an honest way, their response is bound to be more reasonable. If you antagonize them, your job will be much harder.

A parent often worries that his or her children are the only ones who want to do things they don’t approve of. Help your parent to see that it isn’t true. Introduce them to your friends and show them that you all want similar things. Talk to other people’s parents and see how they react. In some ways, you will find life easier than those young people who are allowed to do anything. And remember, if you want to change things, think before you act. Never lie to or deceive your parents.