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Thaddeus. I’ve been spending more time alone on the hill





I’ve been spending more time alone on the hill. I can’t remember it being colder than it is now. The ground is frozen and black, the town windows webbed in snow and ice. When I spark a fire from found branches a snowball falls from the sky and douses the flame. I look up at the sky, the gray waves rolling along. I am growing tired and sad at the disappearance of my daughter and it stirs deep inside me. I snap off a tree branch. I whirl it around in huge circles before letting it fly skyward.

 

>>

It flies up, much higher than I imagined, and, climbing higher and higher, it rips through a cloud’s leg, peaks in flight, then descends again, tearing another hole through the shoulder of a cloud.
In the first hole, there’s a pair of feet dangling from the edge. In the second hole, there’s a man walking around a dark room. I call down to the house for Selah who is shaking out Bianca’s bedsheet, which disintegrates into a little blizzard.
Am I dreaming right now, I shout. Can you check the bed to see if I’m sleeping.
No, you’re not dreaming, she yells back after going inside to check our bed. You’re standing outside by yourself with your thoughts. Your daughter has been kidnapped and your thoughts are torturing you. Sometimes you wake in the middle of the night from terrible dreams, but right now you are awake.
I watch the two holes in the sky until a new breaking of gray rolls across.
My mind is ice.
Selah yells, I want our daughter back.
Deer run against the edge of the woods. Twisted through their antlers is a long quilt, a banner. The quilt says, WAR AGAINST FEBRUARY NOW WAR AGAINST FEBRUARY NOW WAR AGAINST FEBRUARY NOW. The Solution waves from under the pine trees. A man is collecting sap.
I hesitate but wave back.

Thaddeus to Bianca
I climb on the roof. Your bedroom is beneath me. I close one eye and reach my hand out and tear open the horizon. I pull the sky up and toward me like old wallpaper. I see you sleeping in a bed of duck feathers. I close both eyes and finish the dream of us in a balloon. The new sky smells like the ocean. It feels like crushed velvet when you push against it to send the balloon toward your mother waiting on the hill.

Questions
Thaddeus asks the children twisting the heads of owls if they have seen a small girl named Bianca in yellow pajamas. The three children sit against an oak tree with their legs stretched out, snow as a blanket to their waists.
Do the yellow pajamas have flowers printed at the hem, asks the middle child.
Yes, Thaddeus says.
Does the little girl have dark hair that smells of honey and smoke, asks the child to the left.
Thaddeus shakes his head. No, he thinks, she never smelled of honey and smoke. But the room did. Yes, the room.
The room smelled of honey and smoke. Bianca has dark hair. Her hair doesn’t smell of honey and smoke, but the room did.
Does the little girl have a drawing of kites on her hands and arms, asks the child to the right.
Yes, says Thaddeus. Her mother painted those kites. Where is my daughter. What has happened to my daughter.
The children go back to concentrating on twisting the heads of the owls.
No, we haven’t seen her, they say.
I don’t understand, though, you said, Thaddeus says. Now, if you don’t mind, sir, we are much enjoying ourselves by playing with these owls. I hope you find the little girl. She sounds very cute and very beautiful.
For the rest of the day Thaddeus asks every person in town if they have seen his daughter. Everyone says no. The Solution walks past Thaddeus.
We could help, they say, smiling.
The one with the blue bird mask hands Thaddeus an apple, apologizes, then runs to catch up to the group.

Selah and Thaddeus don’t sleep for several days, in which they decide that a war against February is needed to cure their sadness. They invite the Solution to their home, who talk for hours on strategy to destroy February. When they drink their tea, they lift up their bird masks to expose their blue-wintered lips. Thaddeus tries not to cry when a yellow bird passes him a list of missing children and asks Thaddeus to please add Bianca’s name where there is room. He reads the list over. His eyes fill with tears. He writes down Bianca’s name.
Will a war bring my daughter back, asks Thaddeus.
The birds all look at one another.
It’s possible, they say. Anything is possible when you start a war.
I want my daughter back, says Thaddeus. I want her back, and I want my wife to be safe.
He holds her hand.

The Catalog of Missing Children

Evie Rhodes —taken from her bed on February the 127th
Candace Smith —disappeared while feeding birds on February the 175th
Adam Johnston —vanished while playing in a closet on February the 112th
John Smith —also disappeared while feeding birds on February the 175th
Daniel Hill —considered lost in the woods on February the 212th
Joyce Aikey —drowned while diving for turtles on February the 188th
Joseph Mendler —taken from his bed on February the 139th
Estrella Roberts —vanished during a game of hide-and-seek on February the 144th
Emily Boyce —drowned during a snowball fight on February the 222nd
Sarah Lock —disappeared in a blizzard on February the 247th
Bianca Lowe —taken from her bed on February the 255th
Peter Tuner —never came home from school on February the 199th
Jessica Chambers —vanished while walking with her dogs on February the 312th
Suzy Peck —taken from her bed on February the 322nd

Date: 2015-09-03; view: 353; Нарушение авторских прав; Помощь в написании работы --> СЮДА...



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